Mad dog

After i wrote my blog on Sunday i decided to go for a walk. Not the most logical way of doing things i must admit.

It started out quite a nice walk. A fox ran out in front on me then quickly vanished when it saw me coming up the road. I hadn't seen any foxes and now i've seen two. Do you think it would work if i said i haven't seen any £50 notes lately? Wishful thinking. After the fox two bi-planes can spluttering overhead side by side. They were red and i wondered very very briefly what it would be like to wing walk. There is of course no way i will ever know because there isn't the money in the world that would make me do that. A strange thought that popped into my mind as they do. When i was coming down the hill a little dog started charging up the hill towards me. It was a shy little thing and went around me and carried on charging up the hill. A few minutes later i could hear the owner hollering it's name.

This is where things went slightly pear shaped for many reasons. As i was walking i noticed the stalky growly dog coming up the hill. I stopped and thought oh sugarcrumbs. This dog had already stalked me and run at me growling what the hell to do? The dog started coming up the hill and i walked very slowly looking away from it trying not to look a) a threat or b) scared. As we got closer the dog crossed over to the other side of the road and i started speaking in a nice voice as you should so i've found out after the incident. Just as i thought i was safe because we had passed the dog came charging at me teeth and all and went to bite. It was barking, growling, snarling and all i thought was get the hell out of there. It took all my energy not to run. I was shaking like a leaf and almost in tears and i didn't dare look back in case it was following me. Eventually i turned around and it had gone. I got to the river bridge and just sat there trying to calm down. After a while i did and carried on home.

It was about 10 metres into my walk home i realised i had dropped my glasses. I had my sunglasses on and my glasses in my pocket. I can't see without them and loads of cars had gone passed. I pressumed they were squashed. I started walking back up the hill frantically looking for them then it dawned on me, i may bump into that dog again. This stressed me out even more. After a short while i spotted my glasses and thankfully they were intact.

I got home a stressed out gibbering wreck. In my opinion that dog needs to be kept tied up or have a muzzle because it is bloody dangerous.

I'm pleased to say my walk today was very uneventful. I got my magazine and i had a sit down in a field. That i can cope with.

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I'm not being lazy...honest

I have been walking! I may not be blogging but i am walking. It's very slack of me not to blog i know and i apologise. I've been for three walks since Tuesday but as they have been late in the evening i have chosen to store them up and write about them all in one go. Let's be honest there isn't a lot that can happen in a couple of miles so i would be writing hardly anything.

On Thursday as i was walking passed the the river before i had a chance to try and remain hidden i disturbed a heron. It was a big brute of a thing. They look large when they are flying but they are rather on the large side close up too. It took one look at me and made it's escape with what looked like a fish dangling from it's beak.

As i walked passed a driveway staring at my phone from behind came the bark of a dog which made me jump. When i turned around i realised it was stalky dog from the other day only today it was running full pelt growling at me. As you can imagine i was a little anxious i was about to lose an ankle or arm but it stopped and went away. This made me slightly nervous for the return journey so i tip toed passed the driveway in the hope stalky growly dog was safely locked in the house. Luckily for me it was.

On Friday there were plenty of people out and about including one chap jogging in a shirt. Who goes for a jog in shorts and a shirt? A country gentleman it would seem. I'm not having much luck with dogs. As i was walking up the hill there was a couple walking down with their black lab which as soon as he saw me came at me like a greyhound being released from it's cage. The woman hollered down the road 'Don't worry he's friendly. He just wants to say hello.' I thought yea you would say that, your not the one with a huge blur of black tearing towards you barking! Anyway this dog called Jerry according to his owners very kindly jumped up at me bearing his teeth in what i assume was not a friendly smile. I had a chat with his owners for a few minutes which was nice by which time he had calmed down as had i.

On Saturday not much happened apart from two idiots racing through the village with their music up so loud i could hear it 1/4 mile away. I did bump into one lady who i regularly see walking her dog. This time rather than the customary hello she actually struck up a conversation with me. So people are obviously getting used to seeing me wandering through the countryside on my rambles. It's nice talking to random strangers sometimes.

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First sign of madness

What a lovely day it was today. The sun was out and the birds were chirping. In fact such a lovely day i went for a walk. Again.

My pace today was pretty good. I did the first two miles in 35 minutes which i was impressed with as most of that is up a bloody great hill. Although the more i walk the more i find these huge hills seem to flatten themselves out. Seriously it is almost as though i'm getting fitter with every day that passes. I don't want to believe it myself in case it's just a figment of my imagination. Anyway i walked 6.04 miles in 1 hour 46 mins which i think is bloody good going for a mere amateur like myself.

I listen to my iPod as i'm walking. There's nothing like singing at the top of your voice and then realising that there is someone walking behind you. It has happened! As well as listening to music i have found that i talk to myself. First sign of madness many may say. Too late i lost my marbles a long time ago. I think in some instances i do it to give myself encouragement if i'm struggling sometimes i must just fancy a one sided conversation. What would be more embarrassing, singing to your self or talking to yourself? I don't care to be honest. Maybe one day i will record one of my walks on camera.

Other things that happened. I stood on two railway bridges and two trains went under now that is what i call timing. Not at the same time obviously that's just laughable. I saw a few ramblers sitting in a field eating their packed lunches. I now have a blister upon a blister upon a blister which really hurts. Oh and the badger didn't smell quite as rancid.

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